they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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