found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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