Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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