Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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