sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
