whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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