when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
