Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
