i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
