how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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