I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
