It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
