omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
