She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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