just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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