If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
