I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
