I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
