She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
