I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize