It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
