Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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