remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
