If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
