Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
So apparently I’m into choking now
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
