I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
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you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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