YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
