her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
