Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
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I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
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The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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