You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Randomize
