my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Randomize
