Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
last night I used snow as a chaser
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
