I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
