We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I supernannyed him into submission
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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