i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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