Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
