I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
