i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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