We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.