Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat. http://tfl.nu/b9yx
  Replies (5) Good night (1184) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed? http://tfl.nu/9or7
  Replies (7) Good night (776) Bad night (2364)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  too bad you live with your parents still

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): too bad you live with your parents still http://tfl.nu/9a6o
  Replies (9) Good night (587) Bad night (3051)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants http://tfl.nu/qswz
  Replies (13) Good night (1049) Bad night (2640)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet. http://tfl.nu/uu2t
  Replies (6) Good night (1617) Bad night (5498)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  I like it rough

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right? (1-402): I like it rough http://tfl.nu/uqsl
  Replies (38) Good night (6852) Bad night (1686)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water http://tfl.nu/ivkw
  Replies (14) Good night (5464) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast. http://tfl.nu/xssi
  Replies (8) Good night (1207) Bad night (5360)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape. http://tfl.nu/zpzm
  Replies (6) Good night (2859) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me.. http://tfl.nu/zeud
  Replies (1) Good night (1948) Bad night (650)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/of56
  Replies (30) Good night (7088) Bad night (887)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that. http://tfl.nu/szno
  Replies (6) Good night (1330) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand. http://tfl.nu/mrxq
  Replies (5) Good night (486) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (+27): View more from South Africa

  He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+27): He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life. http://tfl.nu/h7su
  Replies (1) Good night (554) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA. http://tfl.nu/qkjv
  Replies (3) Good night (1100) Bad night (558)

Randomize