Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(

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  (502): So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-( http://tfl.nu/sog4
  Replies (26) Good night (1226) Bad night (4659)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  4 words: hood of his car

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  (402): 4 words: hood of his car http://tfl.nu/fuox
  Replies (34) Good night (4926) Bad night (476)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep

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  (908): I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep http://tfl.nu/s4hd
  Replies (41) Good night (1258) Bad night (3975)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer

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  (281): when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer http://tfl.nu/c3p9
  Replies (32) Good night (11087) Bad night (1257)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'

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  (443): In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.' http://tfl.nu/dm32
  Replies (17) Good night (2154) Bad night (3849)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level

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  (434): i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level http://tfl.nu/1fd3
  Replies (11) Good night (2969) Bad night (1630)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?

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  (503): All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/oe9a
  Replies (10) Good night (2916) Bad night (970)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to

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  (336): Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to http://tfl.nu/huat
  Replies (4) Good night (1517) Bad night (543)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think

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  (401): in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think http://tfl.nu/ydqs
  Replies (17) Good night (917) Bad night (2165)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game

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  (412): Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game http://tfl.nu/gj5a
  Replies (16) Good night (1628) Bad night (540)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  The cops raided her house the day before class even started

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  Those assholes are becoming so efficient

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  (917): The cops raided her house the day before class even started (1-917): Those assholes are becoming so efficient http://tfl.nu/vbsh
  Replies (4) Good night (1113) Bad night (534)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me

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  (203): I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me http://tfl.nu/e1ma
  Replies (5) Good night (1130) Bad night (561)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet

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  (708): I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet http://tfl.nu/9ro9
  Replies (2) Good night (754) Bad night (291)
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  (707): View more from California

  They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield

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  (707): They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield http://tfl.nu/3a5d
  Replies (7) Good night (1528) Bad night (407)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot

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  (207): he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot http://tfl.nu/t6zb
  Replies (2) Good night (222) Bad night (588)

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