I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So many bounce houses so little time
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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