I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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