? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
