i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
