im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
