I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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