Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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