Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
