I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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