ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
