He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
