He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
