I'm going to jail i love you
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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