he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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