You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
