from now on my penis is your penis
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
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