Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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