Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
