i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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