I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Shame - the story of my life.
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