She's JV to your varsity
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize