i jhust puked up my retainher.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
