you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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