I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
